As I’ve written for years now, women are the brains behind men who are the bronze. There have even been books written about how women are from Venus and men are from Mars. As I write and view life from a woman perspective, I have managed to crave out a niche in a platform for empowering women, as well. Women rule! and there’s no doubt about that. Ms. Jill Scott can tell you about how we’re living our lives like it is Golden and Ms. India Arie will chime in on how we’re not our hair. I surmise that I can allow for women of all ages, backgrounds and racial divide to step up and become the woman they have always wanted to know!
Make no mistake, it is definite hard out here for a woman trying to make it on her own. Throw a few children in the mix, coupled with the way the economy has taken a turn and you have women who are struggling to keep their families intact. When a woman decides to become a mother, oftentimes that very decision can cause a change in her lifestyle. Whereas before, there were two in the equation, for whatever reason, the man can take it upon himself to bow out, thus, leaving a single mother with obligations.
I’ve never had to fend for my children alone. As a change in marriage dynamics were taking place, the children had either left home to start their own lives, or, started to college to pursue a dream. I never had the privilege of walking in the shoes of these brave single mothers out here doing it for themselves and their children, until recently.
Let me explain. For seven whole days and for various reasons, I walked in the shoes of being a single working mom. As I became mom to all 5 of my grandchildren, ranging in ages 15 years to 2 years. It was an experience I will never forget and thus the basis for this article! my respect for women working and raising a family alone? increased tenfold. There are so many things to consider when raising children, besides the obvious one of providing safety measures ( yes, I child proofed furniture & so forth) There are three different meal times, along with picky eaters. Laundry detail on a near daily basis…garbage to take out enroute to a day job that could care less about what goes on at home. Psst, you even have to make allowances for those nearly there toilet mishaps at night. Thanks to the heavens for pullups:)
The constant calls from work to check in with the oldest child compliance with your latest instructions written in early morning haste to meet the time clock on your day job has become your focus, instead of what your supervisor & co-workers are discussing (at this point, it is all greek to me) When you finally return home from work, there is “G-ma (pet name for grandma) what’s for dinner? As you scurry to take off your dirty uniform, halt the bear hugs from the youngest ones and fling answers over your shoulder in response to the foodie question, you try not to notice the little fingerprints along the white starkness where your walls were on the way to the shower. Instead, you barely feel the warmth of water cascading your fatigued limbs… You exist, again in haste, look at your face in the mirror and ask yourself “Who is that woman and what is up with her hair?”
This experience of being a single mother with children does have its memorable moments. I’ll sorely miss them as they pack up to return to their respective parents. When I’m giving out the last bear hug and kiss the littlest one good-bye, I’ll miss them for sure. The harried lifestyle? Err, not so much! My mission as an expert on women issues has taken on another cause for discussion, debate and eventual action. Who among you agree that women who are single working mothers deserve their Queen day of recognition? A show of hands please…
